The Easter Bunny

The Easter Bunny (also known as the Easter Rabbit or Easter Hare) is a mythical creature renowned for bringing chocolate eggs to deserving children. Originally he was kind of like a fluffier Judge Rinder, in that he adjudicated which children had been good or disobedient at the start of the Easter season.  In legend, the bunny carries coloured eggs in his basket, sweeties, and sometimes also toys to the homes of children, and as such is similar to Father Christmas as they both bring gifts on the night before their respective holidays.  He is arguably the most famous rabbit that has ever lived, a real Kim Kardashian of the long-eared fluffy animal world!

In the run up to Easter he took a couple of minutes out of his hectic schedule to sit down with us in his burrow and filled us in on what it’s like to be the biggest purveyor of chocolate since Santa Claus, how he spends his spare time and his hero ‘Bugs Bunny”.

Tell us the weirdest or funniest thing that has ever happened to you at work?

Don’t get me wrong, being the Easter Bunny is a great gig but it’s real piecework and only gives me one big payday a year.  I have to do my best to try and maximise my earning potential during the month of March, so a couple of years ago I started to charge people to take a picture with me.  Last year Dean Gaffney came up excited to see me and we took a selfie together.  When it came to pay he didn’t have any money.  I felt so sorry for him, poor guy all his Eastenders money must have dried up.  Still made him delete the picture though, I don’t want it getting around that I give freebies.

What signals the start of your days off?

As soon as I see those reduced stickers going up on the hot-cross buns and Easter Eggs in the supermarkets I know my work for the year is over.  I like to get home to the burrow as soon as possible and put on my slippers and chill out.  You know how people wear those ridiculous fluffy bunny slippers?  Well last Christmas the Mrs. got me a pair of novelty human slippers.  They are so comfy!

What might people be surprised to know about you?

Despite rabbits having a reputation for ‘breeding like rabbits’ I have no offspring.  After working with kids all my life it put me off the idea.  Got the tubes tied years ago.  Never looked back.  Also, I invented hip-hop!

What is at the top of your bucket list?

Life’s too short for lists.  I live life one day at a time.  Having said that I would like to visit Paris, swim with dolphins, skydive and meet my hero Bugs Bunny.

What is the worst job you’ve ever had?

Bugs Bunny!  That guy is a freaking legend!In the 80’s I did a stint as the ‘Duracell Bunny’ during the off season.  Man, it was exhausting.  I used to envy those ‘Ordinary Carbon Batteries Bunnies’, at least they got to knock off at a reasonable time.  I was going for days!

Who or what inspires you?

Bugs Bunny!  That guy is a freaking legend!  Us rabbits are only meant to live a maximum of 10 years but he’s been going strong since 1938.  They way he outsmarts that Elmer Fudd jerk at every turn really is a joy to behold.  He makes me want to be a better rabbit.

What’s the best part about your job?

Sensing the excitement on a child’s face as they excitedly hunt for the delicious eggs that I have carefully hidden the day before.  Then the look of joy that washes over their innocent faces as they uncover a stash of chocolate goodies… As if!  It’s the money!  I can’t stand kids!

What might people be surprised to know about you?

I can’t actually eat real eggs as I am a vegan, have been for years.  Gluten free too.

But those eggs you give kid’s are milk chocolate aren’t they?

Erm… What?  Oh yeah but I don’t actually eat them myself.

But you’re eating a Cadbury’s Cream Egg right now.

This interview is over!  Security!