Fostering For All

A loving family, even one that occasionally drives us nuts, is something the vast majority of us take for granted.  I have certainly been blessed over my 45 years to grow up with a wonderful Mum, the best grandparents ever, three bonkers siblings and aunties, uncles and cousins who have celebrated, commiserated and supported me through good times and bad. 

Recently our little family network has been tested beyond recognition; my nieces are living with me while my sister undergoes chemo treatment.  My Uncle George does the morning school run, their older sister collects them, running them to piano and badminton lessons, and their grannies are – as you’d expect – weekend heroes with fun sleep overs and walks round the Hermitage to fill time and keep them busy.For me, I understand that fostering is a system, but I don’t see it as a placement.

What has struck me most about all of this is how quickly we all pulled together to keep these girls safe and feeling loved.  In what is a difficult time, a light has been shone on how fortunate we are to have one another. Having written an article earlier this year about fostering, I am only too aware that there will be children and families in situations similar to ours, who do not have what we do. Children who rely on the love and compassion of strangers to see them through difficult times.

At first glance, there is a sadness that runs through this statement, and I can barely bring myself to consider what might have been.  However, when you step back and consider the bigger picture, what you begin to realise is that there is a truly uplifting message in communities coming together to support, nurture and love the children and young people who, for a whole host of reasons, need cared for outwith their immediate family home.

I had always thought that fostering was a step before adoption; one of those assumptions you make with limited knowledge and no real reason to find out otherwise.  However, here in Perth and Kinross the Council’s Family Based Care Team support both carers and young people in a number of different ways and make huge differences by providing temporary, permanent and respite care for kids when they need it most.

As you might imagine, they are always looking to bring new families, new homes and new people into that extremely important network of foster homes – a question you might never have asked yourself before is ‘Could I do that?’ or ‘But would I really make a difference?’

I caught up with Breagha, a bright, articulate, eighteen year old woman who works in Services for Young People at the Scott Street Hub, and who currently lives in a supported lodgings placement with her foster parent of four and a half years, Donella.

“I’ve been in foster care my whole life, so I’ve never experienced anything different to that.  I moved to Perth from Fife when I was ten years old and I’ve been ever since. For the past four and half years I’ve lived with the same person, which is almost the longest I’ve stayed in one home.    I arrived to stay with Donella when I was 14, and it was only really meant to be for one year but I’ve just never left!

It was strange at first; I was so used to moving I struggled to settle in. I’d lived with different carers on and off but had been with someone for four years just before I moved to where I am now so the first couple of years were quite hard.  Now though, as I’ve gotten a bit older I enjoy it there, I like feeling settled.

For me, I understand that fostering is a system, but I don’t see it as a placement.  I see it as a home, as part of my life.  It has meant a lot to me to have Donella and she is definitely someone I would class as family; more than anyone else has ever been.  It’s just the two of us at home – we’re like the dream team – and I can only think it’s like living with your gran. The system has expanded the age of care to 26 so I could be with her for another eight years! 

When I was younger I used to attend the FYI (Fun Young Individuals) group and I really got a lot out of it.  It brings young people who are care experienced together and offers a support network and a chance to share.   I’m now working as participation officer alongside Gary, one of the corporate parents.  Our role is to help support children who have come up through care, and ensure they have the same opportunities are everyone else.

To anyone out there who is considering fostering, I’d say it needs to be given a lot of thought, but you could make a huge difference to someone’s life.  When Donella took me in, she had to adjust herself but with time she helped me come out of myself and has shaped me into a young adult who has achieved something. I don’t know if I’d have been here without her.  I enjoy it now; it’s nice to be listened to, to know that I matter.  I know it wasn’t always easy, and every situation is different, but I think we’d both say it has been life changing in a good way.”

Breagha talks about the various types of care she has experienced; far from being a step before adoption there are many types of care you could offer a young person.

Temporary Fostering: From month up to one year typically.  This can quite often be helping children who have experienced traumatic situations and is not a long-term home situation. Usually there are specific circumstances at play and you would help the child or young person during this time.

Permanent Fostering:

With this, you would welcome a child or young  person into your home to become one of the family. They may see their birth parents alongside this.

Short Break Foster Care:

Similar to respite care, you would be looking after children with disabilities in order that their carer can enjoy a short break.

Respite Care:

All temporary foster parents are entitled to holidays and the respite carers will step in to ensure this happens.  

Supported Lodgings
Providing a safe and supportive environment for young people aged 16 and over who have been looked after by the Council and are now looking to progress to independent living.

For further information, visit www.pkc.gov.uk/fosteringadoption

If you’d like to find out more, you can call the Family Based Care Team for a no obligation chat.  They’re not there to talk you into something that ultimately isn’t for you; they will simply walk you through the process and chat about the options available.  Once you’ve decided to go for it, then all the checks and balances you’d expect will take place and you’re free to change your mind at any time.  

What do you have to lose? Especially when there is so much love and life experience to gain.

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If you are interested in a no obligation chat about fostering, call 01738 477806 or email ecsfpduty@pkc.gov.uk.