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The run up to Christmas can be exhausting: kids parties, work parties, carol recitals, nativity plays, Christmas fairs to volunteer at...I could go on. You can end up completely shattered.
If Christmas Day has also become a military operation, it might be time to save your sanity and dial it back a little. In the pursuit of pleasing others, we often forget what makes us happy. We end up spending way too much time rushing from place to place in the car. Remember that an invitation isn’t a summons. Sometimes, it’s okay to say no and do as you please.
In the pursuit of pleasing others, we often forget what makes us happy.
When did Christmas become such as performance? Try to remember that when you are on social media you are literally looking at someone else’s life through a filter. It can make you feel bad about yourself when it seems like everyone else is having an enchanted Christmas. As they bake beautiful reindeer cupcakes with perfectly-behaved children, try to take it all with a pinch of salt. Or better yet, join the growing trend of people who are posting honest accounts of their imperfect Christmas experiences.
Christmas can be a difficult time for many of us; not helped by the huge cultural emphasis on the perfect family unit. It can be particularly tough if you’re missing a loved one, or maybe spending your last year together. Separated or single parents can also feel really isolated, especially if they can’t be with their children on Christmas Day. Remember that Christmas doesn’t have to mean the 25th; for many it isn’t.
It might be tempting to be alone at Christmas, because you’re worried that you’re just not ‘happy’ enough. Be kind to yourself and accept that this is a difficult time for you. You can get by with a little help from your friends.
Family tensions can arise when we haven’t been realistic about how the day will turn out. You may be approaching Christmas with a sense of apprehension or dread, but have ignored these feelings. It’s no wonder they come to the surface when mixed with alcohol!
Try to accept your relatives as they are. (Okay, we all have our limits. More on that later…) Christmas Day is generally not the time to change the habits of a lifetime and frankly, pointing out that your father-in-law is a a bit of an arse will just make you feel like the bad guy.
Isn’t it weird that every year we build up Christmas day as if it’s going to take place in some parallel universe? One of joy and jumpers, where our family gathers merrily round the fire for festive charades.
You may have selected the perfect Christmas tune, the smell of fresh mince pies fills the room and your kids will STILL fight about who hangs which decoration. It’s no wonder you are close to losing it.
Try to remember that the tension and pressure is in your head. It’s time to learn from Clark Griswold, lower your expectations and accept your beautifully dysfunctional family. Pour yourself a drink and surrender to the chaos.
Try to remember that the tension and pressure is in your head.
It often feels like the job of relatives is to point out our insecurities. Before Christmas Day, it might be helpful to note down all of the questions and statements that you expect to hear from relatives. Anything from parenting advice, career questions or even cracks about your weight.
It’s really just about preparation. When things catch us off guard, we tend to react defensively. Sometimes the comments that hit deepest are those that echo our own negative inner-voice. By identifying your triggers you can smirk knowingly at the predictability of it all, while keeping the peace.
If you’ve got to the stage where keeping cool in the face of criticism is beyond you, then it’s time to work on your tactics. The failsafe option is to focus the conversation on others, by asking lots of questions and listening attentively. Showing a genuine interest in someone will avoid the conversation turning negatively on you. But if it does and it bothers you (and counting to ten in the bathroom hasn’t worked!) then try a little vulnerability. There’s nothing wrong with letting someone know that your feelings are hurt. It can be tough, but worth it.
It’s no fun slaving away on your own, dishing out ten helpings of turkey and trimmings, only to slump shattered and red-faced into your seat. No matter how hard I try, I will never be a relaxed Nigella-esque hostess.
Fight your inner perfectionist and let your family help out. Not only will it be a shared experience, it can also take the pressure off. Sharing the load means sharing the responsibility, so you’re much less likely to beat yourself up if it doesn’t go to plan.
It’s easy to lose focus on exercise during the holidays, and you may have already decided that there’s no point until January. But making time is even more important right now, as keeping fit can work wonders for your ability to cope with stress. Even if you can’t hit the gym or take a class, a walk in the fresh air is a great way to work off the day’s indulgences and top up those feel-good endorphins.
If the commercialisation of Christmas is starting to get to you, it might be time to redress the balance by thinking about others. It could be anything from inviting an elderly relative or neighbour for Christmas dinner, dropping off a donation at the local food bank or even calling a friend who might be finding Christmas tough this year.
Spread a little kindness and it might just shift your focus from stress, to gratitude.
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As visitors sadly are unable to visit Pitlochry Festival Theatre right now, their team are offering instructions on How to Build Your Own Theatre!
May 27th Wednesday 2020
Horsecross Arts is launching Virtual Voices, an online version combining the popular regular singing group Horsecross Voices with Little Stars.
May 21st Thursday 2020
A group of creative families in Scone have discovered the perfect way to prevent social isolation and encourage each other to enjoy their exercise!
May 18th Monday 2020
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